


I needed you (and you came for me)

by dasha95g



Category: Sterek - Fandom, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Cuddly Derek, Cutting, Depression, Eating Disorders, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Protective Derek, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-29 21:24:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3911200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dasha95g/pseuds/dasha95g
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is having a lot more trouble dealing with the darkness than Allison and Scott, he is having horrible nightmares and can't sleep or eat. Derek hears about this and insists they go back to beacon hills. Even though it is Stiles he is still pack and Derek doesn't want to, or more he wont let himself, loose any more pack members.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When Nightmares become his reality

Stiles couldn't comprehend where he was, but the continuous stumbling of his feet and jolts of pain from the branches, sticking out of the ground, gave him the idea of being in the woods. The area felt familiar but he couldn't quite grasp where he was or why he was there. This felt, to him, like an out of body experience. Like he was watching himself, having no control of his body, push forward to where he needed to get to, because he needed to get there, like it was his only drive. That’s when he noticed it. An incoherent recognition of his surroundings. He’d been here before. But he couldn't put time to place or reason to his actions of returning there.  
Then he saw it...  
The familiar oak stump that sat in the middle of the clearing in the forest.  
The Nemeton.  
How did he get here, when, why was he even here?! The panic that crept up on him, like a snake on its prey, must've been some sort of trigger.  
Suddenly, his mother was standing in front of him, but when he looked up to her he couldn't see her face, or more she didn't have a face.  
“Mum?”  
His voice was quaking with panic and confusion by this point. Why was his mother, his DEAD mother, now standing in front of him? She moved so gracefully towards him, gently placing her hand on his cheek, the slap that followed was something Stiles was not expecting. The slap was like a red hot cattle brander being shoved at a high speed into his face, a very real feeling that shouldn't exist. He stared back into her once loving eyes in shock.  
“Wha..what was that...”  
He tried to talk to her but was cut off by her discouraging glare, a look that said ‘it’s all your fault’.  
“you caused this.. it’s all your fault stiles.”  
She began to speak to him in a cold tone,  
“you’re the reason I'm dead, if it wasn't for you id still be alive. You killed those two teenage friends of yours too... the werewolves.”  
Stiles was completely frozen now, how did she know about werewolves!  
“and what about poor Heather? You weren't there to save her... you left her in that cellar to die... I thought I raised you better than that stiles.”  
That was the last straw for him, panic set in, his lungs constricting with every breath he tried to suck in. but that didn't make his mother any less real.  
“You’re a failure stiles, you failed me you failed heather you failed Erica and Boyd you failed your father and now you’re going to fail the rest of the people who mistakenly rely on you. Like Scott.”  
Why was she saying these things to him? Now of all times. But it dawned on him, what if she is right, what if he did leave heather to die and failed Erica and Boyd. It was all his fault. That’s when he became familiar with the light headed feeling from lack of oxygen. He looked up and he was once again very alone, him and the Nemeton. Then he became aware of his panic attack that was causing his light headed feeling. The constricting feeling of his lungs closing on him and the jack hammer thumping that was currently in his chest in replace of a heart beat. Then all he could feel was a thick blanket of guilt smothering his heart. After that everything went black.  
When stiles regained consciousness he was laying on the damp forest floor with a blurry figure reaching over him. When his vision refocused and his memory of where he was came back he almost went into another panic attack.  
“Isaac?”  
Isaac was the figure shaking him and trying to wake him from a forced sleep.  
“what are you doing here?”  
“I was running in the woods when I heard someone’s heartbeat going a mile a minute and when I came to check it out I found you, kicking and screaming on the ground. Honestly dude what are you doing out here?” 

“I was? I... um I just needed to get out of the house and clear my head but I blacked out and I don’t remember anything, sorry”  
How long was he out? He didn't remember. The last thing he can remember is the sudden disappearance of his mother and then he collapsed having a major panic attack. Why was Isaac out running in the middle of the night anyway?  
“what are you doing out in the middle of the night yourself?”  
“stiles... it’s like 6:30 in the morning... i always jog before school”  
6:30 am... last he looked it was 10 last night.  
“oh, um.. yeah I know I just didn't realize you went running in the morning..”  
Isaac helped him up, made sure he wasn't going to freak out again and then kept going on his run. While stiles took the unfortunate long walk home all he could do was remember everything his mother said to him, was she even there? So many questions flew through his mind that he didn't even realize he was already at the forest line near his house. When he got home his dad had left a note on the kitchen counter, ‘hey kiddo, didn't wake you sounded like you had a rough night, late shift tonight see you tomorrow.’ Just like him, always looking out for stiles even though he is a burden on his father. No, he can’t think that, what happened wasn't real. He went up to his room when he saw the time,  
“Crap!”  
He grabbed his books and ran for his Jeep. On the way to school he smelt himself and it was gross. A mix of sweat, tears and mud, he had to put up with it at least till third period. That was his free and he could have a quick shower in the locker room. He walked into English 10 minutes late, lucky Harris is still considered missing otherwise he would've got an afternoon detention. Speaking of Harris, it’s been a while since the last time anything was investigated relating his disappearance. Was that his fault too? Stiles jumps when Scott shakes his shoulder to get his attention.  
“dude, are you okay? You smell and your really spaced out”  
“yeah, I'm fine bro, just tired had a rough sleep is all.”  
“But that doesn't explain the smell stiles...”  
“I forgot the shower, it’s nothing bro don’t worry about it”  
Scott gave him a worried look that ran knives though stiles’ stomach. He turned away from him and focused on the work in front of him. Which didn't get done anyway, all he could think of was his mothers face and the disappointment he could see in her eyes. Then the pain from the slap returned to his face and he subconsciously rubbed his hand over it. His fingers lingering over the same place that hers made contact with his skin. Scott must've heard his heart rate elevate because he was in his face again asking what’s wrong.  
“I'm fine dude, just leave it okay!”  
He couldn't do it, he grabbed his books and bag in a fumbled hurry and practically ran out the door, with the followed scream of his name from the sub.  
“Mr. Stilinski!!!”  
By the time he reached the exit he could feel the panic attack poking its ugly head in the surface of his mind. Horrible flash backs of the previous night, like a constant replay. ‘I...i.. Just need.... to... re.. reach the Jeep..’ , great now even his thoughts were stuttering. Fumbling for a few moments he managed to unlock his door and scramble inside it. He knew his next move wasn't going to be the smartest but he had to get out. He starts the Jeep and revs out of the school parking lot as fast as he could. By this time his vision was going blurry, his breathing coming in short bursts and his chest weighed a tonne. ‘Just.... another....block.’ he was close to home. When he got home he was safe. It was his safe place. When he turned the next corner and saw his house he practically mounted the gutter to get there. He didn't even have time to grab his things before he was bolting for the door, like he was running for his life. At this point he felt he could have been, his hands shaking profusely now. Once inside he practically collapsed in the doorway, grabbing his chest, as if that would help. Then slowly but surely his mothers image appeared, her voice echoing in his head.  
“It’s all your fault.”  
Then nothing but utter darkness.  
When he finally woke up it was dark, his dad working the late shift again. He was glad for that, glad his dad didn't have to come home to find his son passed out on the floor, which would just cause more unnecessary worry for him. As he slowly got himself up he cringes away from the pain that shot up his leg. ‘dammit’. He must have sprained it when he was fumbling around to get inside. He slowly limps his way up the stairs to the bathroom. Turns the water on as hot as humanly possible and gets in. but it isn't to shower, partly because he is still in his jeans. He just stands there, head resting against the tiles.  
That’s when he drops to his knees, he can’t hold it back anymore. He lets out a hollow wail, trying to force some of the pain away but in doing this he only brought on the tears, tears that he now couldn't stop.  
He was there, in the shower, curling his knees up to his chest for ages. How long exactly he couldn't tell, but all he could feel was an immense sadness, like he was being blanketed in a heavy layer of pain and guilt and sadness. Why was this happening?  
He began thinking of this past year, how crazy it was, how crazy it would've sounded to any normal person. But he had to deal with it, deal with Scott trying to kill him on the full moon; deal with Scott’s constant whining over Allison and a broody pack of werewolves that took after their broody alpha. Derek, he always knew what was going on, could always sense it before anyone else was even slightly clued in, but he is gone now, he and his sister Cora have left to start new.  
Stiles could understand why, doesn't mean he liked the idea of them going off on their own. Even though the guy constantly threatened to rip stiles’ throat out with his teeth, doesn't mean stiles didn't come to see him as his alpha as well. Not that he would admit that to anyone.  
After a little more thinking, stiles finally turned off the water and got out, peeling off his saturated jeans when he did. Once he grabbed his pair of sweats from off the floor of his room and pulled them up he took his wet clothes down to the laundry. He thought he should get something to eat but he couldn't stomach it. He hobbled back up the stairs, as his ankle was still giving him grief, and collapsed into bed, not even thinking of the homework he had due tomorrow. While he was staring up at the ceiling he could feel his eyelids getting heavy. Soon enough he was asleep.


	2. A Nightmare that felt so Real.

~~~~~  
Running through the thick forest of the preserve, he didn’t understand what he was running from. As he looked back to try and get a glimpse of what it was exactly that was chasing him, he couldn’t see anything. However, the need to run for his life was stronger than ever.  
He could see Derek up ahead of him, seemingly calling for him to hurry up. But the more he ran it seemed the further away from him he was.  
He was getting tired, so tired. He had to stop. Bending over trying to get the oxygen into his lungs he noticed a pair of white slippers in front of him.  
As he slowly looked up he began to recognize the person standing in front of him, blocking his way to Derek. It was his mother.  
She began yelling at him. Again.  
“What do you think your little wolf can do? Save you? You’re a failure. When he realizes this he will drop you like the worthless piece of crap you are.”  
*SLAP*  
“He doesn’t care about you!”  
*SLAP*  
“He is using you. Once he finds out what you have done, he will never treat you the same way.”  
A hard kick to the stomach took his concentration from his mother’s face.  
“You’re a murderer stiles. You murdered me!”  
She slowly knelt down to where stiles was curled in on himself. The next thing stiles knew, his own mother was pulling a knife out of his stomach.  
‘When did she…’  
In the amount of time it took his mother to abuse him mentally and physically Derek had come up to her, hearing her calling stiles a murderer.  
“How could you Stiles? I thought you were a part of the pack! Meaning NO SECRETS!”  
By this time he was screaming at stiles. He was starting to shift. Stiles tried to stand and run but his legs wouldn’t work. He was crawling, dragging his limp body away from the now fully transformed werewolf.  
“Derek!!”  
Derek pounced and landed on top of his body. Snarling and growling. Eyes a deep blue.  
Stiles was pleading, crying out for Derek to stop. But he wouldn’t. As stiles tried to get out to run, Derek raised his claw and brought it down across stiles’ chest.  
~~~~~  
Stiles woke up screaming. In a panic, he didn’t recognize where he was but someone was holding him. Derek still?  
“Please… Derek…”  
Stiles tried. He tried so hard to get out of the grip that was holding him down. But he was so tired, so weak.  
“Shhhh stiles, you’re okay”  
As he started to make sense of everything, he realized his dad was there, trying to calm him down.  
“D..Dad?”  
“Hey buddy, you okay?”  
“Yeah… just a bad dream…”  
“Stiles that was more than a bad dream. What’s happening to you son?”  
“I told you I’m fine dad.”  
Stiles had tears in his eyes but wouldn't let them fall. He had to prove to his dad he was okay, he couldn't let him see how un-okay he truly is.  
“Okay son, but I need to talk to you about something you said while you were still waking up. It can wait till morning though.”  
Stiles look at his father confused, but couldn’t be bothered to argue. He was so tired.  
“Goodnight son”  
‘Goodnight dad’, well that’s what he meant to say anyway.  
“gewwdnert.”  
Once his father left his room he let his eyes fall again. This time he sleep the last 2 hours until his alarm was waking him for school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so finally i have added a chapter for you guys ^-^
> 
> i hope you like it <3

**Author's Note:**

> ~~~Hey Guys~~~
> 
> This is the second time i have uploaded this story. I wrote this over 2 years ago but as i was starting Uni i didn't have any time to work on it.   
> Decided to start up again and when i looked at it i almost died from the grammar and spelling mistakes. xD
> 
> So here it is again~~ all fixed up~~
> 
> Hopefully new readers will come along and give me some feedback ^-^ 
> 
> ~~~More chapters to come~~~


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